Iceland and the Demon Puffin

*~|WARNING! THERE IS SWEARING IN THIS STORY! TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DON'T LIKE SWEARING!|~*



"Mister Puffinnnn~!" you sang, skipping in the Nordic's house, searching for Emil's pet puffin.

"Where could he be? He never runs off." Mathias said, flopping on the couch. You stopped skipping to spare the Dane a glare. "He's not in the his igloo." Mathias said, playing his trump card.

"Okay, this is serious." you say sternly. If all else failed, Mr. Puffin was sure to be in the small plastic igloo you and Emil had built for him when you were children.

"MR. PUFFIN!" The familiar voice of your Icelandic friend rang throughout the house. Only he wasn't his usual calm and composed self. "Mr. Puffin, where are you?" he wailed.

"We need to find that bird," Lukas said, right behind Emil. You threw your hands in the air in frustration. "We've looked everywhere!!" you sigh, throwing yourself on the couch next to Mathias.

"He's got to be somewhere," Lukas said.

"Mr. Puffin is not in his igloo."

"Mother of God, no."

Emil fell face first on the loveseat. "This is hopeless," The couch muffled his voice, but you heard the depression in his voice. "Don't worry, Emil. We'll find him eventually.." you say.

Suddenly, a catastrophic crashing sound echoed through the house. The four of you froze. "MR. PUFFIN!!!" Emil exclaims, bolting off the seat and running to the basement where the sound came from.

"Emil, wait!!" you cried. Who knows what could've made that sound?! You slid past the Icelandic boy on the basement banister, stopping and jumping in front of him. "________, Mr. Puffin." he begged.

"I know, just let Mathias go first!"

"HEY!"

You punched the Danish man. "Just go, moron." you say, pushing him to the front. The Dane gulped but headed downstairs. Lukas flicked on the light to see a small form in the middle of the room.

"Mr. Puffin?"  Emil asked, his voice trembling. "It's him! MR. PUFFIN!" you cried, running towards the small bird. You knelt down, the puffin's back still facing you.

"Hey, buddy, where've you been?!" you asked, touching its wing. It spun around, baring two inch fangs and bloodied flippers.

"JESUS FUCK!" you hollered, horrified. You backed away on all fours slowly to the staircase where the boys were frozen. The puffin hissed at you. Its eyes were a ruby red.

"What the hell happened to that thing?!?" Lukas shouted. "Mr. Puffin?" Emil said, in a daze. "HOLY SHIT, RUN!" Mathias screamed. The deranged bird toddled over to the stairs at a horrifyingly  slow pace.

You sprinted up the stairs with the three behind you. The puffin squawked. "AHMYGAWD!" Emil yelled. "WE NEED A PLAN!" you shouted, jumping over the sofa and using it as a war barrier.

"Kill it!"

"Skin it and give it to Tino!"

"Cook it and give it to Berwald!"

Emil bitchslapped his brother and Mathias. "None of the above, assholes!" The puffin was slowly advancing towards the four of you. "Okay, I'm going to tackle it." you decided. The three boys stared at you with wide eyes.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Mathias hollered as you jumped over the sofa to face the deadly bird. "No!" you yelled back. You snatched a roll of duct tape on the coffee table and barreled yourself at the bird.

Straddling it, you duct taped its mouth shut and its wings to its sides. "You, motherfucker, are not Emil's pet." you growled at it. The boys slowly made their way to you and the bird.

Examining the bird carefully, your eyes fell upon a glittering object at the bird's neck. "What the hell?" you whispered, ghosting your fingers over it. It was a pink, sparkly collar. You strapped it off and threw it to Lukas.

He caught it and stared at it with curiosity. "What the fuck is this?" he said, clueless. "It's shit, that's what it is." Emil snapped. Mr. Puffin had almost shapeshifted back to his normal self.

You gently took off the tape and Emil cuddled the bird to himself. "Oh, Mr. Puffin!" Emil cried. You took one last look at the fuchsia collar. "How did that get on him?"

The door burst open and there stood Feliks, holding a phone to his ear. "Like, OMG, ________. Why haven't you answered any of my calls?" he said in an impatient tone. "Calls? I've been busy, Feliks." you say.

Feliks rolled his eyes. "Okay, so like, anyways, I wanted to drop by on how Mr. Puffin was doing." Lukas raised an eyebrow. "Why?" Mathias asked.

"I bought this, like, totally fabulous collar for him--"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!!"