Hetalia: Disneyland Style

*~|WARNING! SWEARING IS INVOLVED!|~*



"Veee~ Let's go!" your friend, Feliciano, cheered. You rolled your eyes in sync with Romano. Even though Feli was a friend, he could be quite daft at times. "I have zhe tickets," Gilbert said, shuffling the passes in his hand. Ludwig snatched up the tickets. "NO! Zhat's not how you do organization!" he boomed. Gilbert raised his hands up in surrender and handed the tickets to Ludwig. Ludwig cleared his throat.

"ROLL CALL!"

Dammit.

"ROMANO!"

"Here, you potato sucking bastard!"

"FELICIANO!"

"Heeere!"

"GILBERT!"

"ZHE AWESOME GILBERT IS PRESENT!"

"________!"

You smacked his shoulder. "Right here." you waved. "Why so grumpy?" Elizaveta laughed. "Well, I'm already sure we're going to get kicked out with these... er," You couldn't think of a name for all of the park companions you were going to have to enjoy 'The Happiest Place In The World' with. "Neanderthals?" Eliza finished. "YES!" She laughed. "Don't be such a Romano, _______. Have fun!"

"AND ALFRED!!"

"Here." chimed Al. You looked around at the group. By the looks, it was going to quite an eventful day.

Alfred, Elizaveta, Roderich, Gilbert, Romano, Antonio, Ludwig, Feliciano, and you.

Oh, why you.

"Come on! Let's get in line!" Alfred said, pumping his fist. You were at the front of the line. You looked back at your friends. Thank god they dressed casually. You, as well, had a mickey mouse hoodie, shorts, and a pair of (f/c) converse. "Ahem, please step aside, all of you." the park attendant said, gesturing for you to move to the right.

Well, shit.

You haven't even stepped into the park and you're all in trouble. "Ma'am, please no frying pans." the park attendant said in a fake apologetic tone. Eliza gasped. "WHAT?!?"

"Please, give me the frying pan or I will have to escort you off park grounds." Eliza glanced longingly at her frying pan. She hesitated before giving it up. "You're going to give it back, right?" you asked. "Of course! When you leave, you can have it back." Eliza snarled before entering the park.

"Chica, you've been here before, lead the way." Antonio said. Alfred partially gasped at Antonio. "I'll have you know I've been here over ten times!" You scoffed before passing Alfie, leading the way to Tomorrowland. "Fifteen at this park in California and Florida." you stated.

"Autotopia looks interesting." suggested Roderich. "Guess we could do that," you say, walking towards the ride. "Damn it, where's fratello?" Romano panicked.

Shit.

"ZHERE HE IS!" shouted Gilbert, jabbing his finger in a spot of air. Feli was already running into the ride. "Ugh, fuck." you cursed. All of you scrambled over to Autotopia, jumping over obstacles such as the line belts to separate the lines. "FELI!" you screamed. "WAIT!" Feli hopped into an orange car.

Ludwig joined him the car. You jumped into a blue car with Alfie. "I wanna drive," you pouted. "Sorry, ______, looks like I have command." smirked Alfred. You scowled. Even though he was one of your best friends, he could sometimes be just absolutely frustrating. You scanned the cars. Romano was with Tony, Eliza with Roderich, Gil illegally riding on the trunk of Romano and Tony's car, and Ludwig and Feli.

"HEY! GET OFF THAT TRUNK!" the park attendant screamed at Gil. "Auf Wiedersehen, sucker!" Gilbert shouted at him as the checkered flag came down. The park attendant stopped mid-way and went back to her shack. Guess she didn't care.

"Hey, wanna race?" asks Feli. You grinned viciously at Alfie. "Suure." you said in an evil tone. "We will pummel you, dude!" Alfred said at Ludwig. "Ve'll see," Ludwig growled.

"DRIVE!"

The checkered flag waved down. Alfred slammed his foot on the metal accelerator. You saw that you were racing against Eliza and Roderich and Ludwig and Feli. Tony, Romano, and Gilbert had already gone off in the first race. "AGHH!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS?!?!" you heard Ludwig cry out.

You glanced back to see their car hadn't even started yet. Ludwig couldn't put his foot down. "MOVE!" Feli yelled. They exchanged spots, but that was all you saw before they were out of sight. "Roderich, faster! _______ and Alfred are gonna beat us!" Eliza shouted. "There is a speed limit, and they're speeding!" Roderich said.

"How many damn times do I have to tell you there's not fucking speed limit?!?" Eliza screamed at Roderich. They were sweethearts, sure. But Eliza sure was competitive. You passed them and waved at them. "Ta-ta!" said Alfie cheerily. "UGH!" Eliza slumped back in her seat.

"Faster, Alfie!" you barked. "This is a ride, _______, if you've forgotten!" Alfred said. "I'm already going as fast as this Cozy Coupe can go!" You told yourself to chill. No worries, Feli and Germany are far behind as well as Eliza and Roderich.

Only you didn't know Elizaveta had the wheel now. "Uhh, Alfie?" you said as their car accelerated towards yours. "TOO FAST! YOU'RE SPEEDING!" cried Roderich. "Shut up!" Eliza said furiously. "PUT THE PEDAL TO THE METAL, DAMMIT!" you shouted, hitting Alfred in the shoulder.

"Okay, okay! Dude, chill!" You zoomed past the sweethearts to the finish line. "YES! WE DID IT!" you cried out, jumping out of the car. You high-fived Alfred with a grin. Eliza and Roderich followed shortly after. You quickly started to rub it into Eliza's face. "Hehe, I beat you." you whispered into her ear. Eliza started to twitch.

"Now, now, Eliza, it was just a ride," Roderich said, trying to put an arm around her shoulder. "DON'T TOUCH ME! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"  

Wow. She was truly pissed. "How many times do I have to tell you there was no damn speed limit?!?!" Eliza seethed. Eliza stormed off in a haste. "Don't worry, bro. She's just pissed for a while, usually." you say, patting Roderich's shoulder. "You can relate?" he asks hopefully. You just laughed.

"Hell, no. I'd never get an Elizaveta mad." You joined the rest of the group when Feli and Ludwig finally caught up. "Haha, you said you'd beat us, dude. What happened?" Alfred laughed. Ludwig snarled. "'Ve'll see.'" you say, imitating his German accent and tone. You and Alfred nearly laughed 'till your lungs stopped functioning.

"How was your ride?" you ask Romano with a smirk. He scowled his signature, almost permanent, scowl. "Well, the potato sucking bastard was riding on the trunk and the tomato bastard was driving worse than a hungover donkey." You laughed. "CHICA! You missed so much EPICNESS!" Tony shouts. Gilbert was crouching down on the pavement, trying to regain himself.

"Oh.... Mein.... Gott. Did you see zhat lady's face when I jumped onto the trunk?!?" he composed during laughs. A smile curved at the corner of your lips. Okay, it was hilarious. "Let's go on the Matterhorn next!" Alfred shouted. "Lead the way," you say. Eliza comes up behind you wearing a victorious grin. "Having fun?" she asks, nudging you. "Oh hell, yes. This is going better than the disaster I planned."

When you all got at the Matterhorn, there was surprisingly no line. "Well, that's a surprise." you say, raising an eyebrow. "Goddamit, Feli! Wait!!" Romano cried out, chasing his brother through the designated queue. You jumped into a bobsled with the Italian brothers. "Mind if I hitchhike with you guys?" Feli turned to face you. "No, not at all, ______!" he said in his usual cheery tone.

Tony hopped into the seat behind you. "Chica, is this a good ride?" You nodded. He's going to be in for a "hairy" surprise later. You thought deviously. The ride started and you climbed up to the peak of the Matterhorn. "Oh, that's a bella view. It covers the whole- AGHHH!!!"

Feli was admiring the beautiful landscape of the park at the peak. Big mistake. He was proceeded to be rudely cut off by a drop. The poor Italian was in front, and he was clutching anything he could for dear life. Tony screamed his head off. "I'M GOING TO FAAAALLL!" he howled. The sharp curves were designed to have the feeling of jerking you straight off the mountain.

You held tight to Romano's collar from behind. "'ELP! RAGAZZA, YOU'RE CHOKIN' ME!" Romano struggled. "SHUT UP! I'M NOT CLUTCHING THAT TIGHT!" you barked. You accidently brushed your hand against Romano's sacred curl, tangling one of your fingers in it and pulling it. "CHIGI!!!" Romano shrieked. "Sorry, Roma!" you called.

"Was it the-AGH!!-curl?" called Antonio from the back. "I said I was sorry!!" You could almost feel the Spaniard's grin. "I think it's almost over!!" Feli yelled over his shoulder. Right on cue, a large growl echoed off of the mountain walls. The yeti.

"AGHHH!! OH MY GOD WHATISTHAT?!?!?!?" Poor Feli shouldn't have been in the front. "NYAA!!! I THINK I'M GOING TO PISS MYSELF!" Romano followed. "IT'S ALIVE!" Antonio shouted.

When the ride was over, Romano, Antonio, and Feliciano each leaned against the railing. While you, experiencing this a over a dozen times, casually stroll out as if the ride was a walk in the park. "WOO! That was awesome!" Gilbert screams, fist pumping. "Totally, dude!" Alfred yells back. You rolled your eyes. Ludwig emerged from behind.

He twitched in an unhealthy manner. "The furry thing. It was like a grown FURBY!" he bellowed. Gilbert shuddered, remembering his brother's Christmas present from Feliciano. "I think I need to vomit," Roderich slurred. He rushed to the restrooms, clutching his stomach. "Haha, that ride was quite funny, _______." Eliza chuckled.

"Speaking of bathrooms, any one need to go?" Alfie called out. "I WENT ON THE RIDE!" Romano said, still having to have the railings to support his spinning vision. Ludwig cocked an eyebrow. "Vent on zhe ride? Vhat does zhat mean?" Right on cue, a scream and a following "GROSS!" echoed in the ride. Romano pointed a thumb back over his shoulder. "I mean like that."

"Come on guys, Roderich will catch up. Where do you guys wanna go next?" you ask them. "We better head to Toontown, _______." Alfred says. "We'll figure it out there," You sort of glanced at him. You'd been here more times than he had, and he was acting like he owned the place and these were his personal tours of some sort. There must be revenge sooner or later.

A thought flew to your head as you stepped forward to the gate of Toontown. Dread filled your mind. You groaned and faced your friends. "Guys, I just remembered, we're too old for most of the attractions here," you announced. Gilbert's jaw dropped. "VHAT?! I vas looking so forvard to meeting Mickey Mouse." he whined. "We can still meet Mickey Mouse, but then we should head to Critter County."

Suddenly, a high pitch squeal of excitement arose from the group. Feli, who was back to his usual self, was jumping like a teenage girl at a stand. Of hats.

Oh shit.

He found it.

"Fratello, can you please buy me a hat??" Feliciano pleaded to Romano. Romano looked mildly disturbed about the hats. "What. The. HELL are THOSE." Romano hissed. "Of course. Mickey Mouse hats. Of all people, it had to be Feliciano." you groaned to Alfred. "Now Luddy is going to announce in a sec that we're going have to contribute our share of money for all of us to get one," Alfred whispered.

"ALVRIGHT, EVERYVUN IS GOING TO GET A RAT HAT! GIVE ME FIVE DOLLARS!" (I don't know if it's really five dollars, but I'll stick to that)

You rolled your eyes and giggled mentally. Rat hat? Is he joking? Nevertheless, you passed forth five dollars. You hadn't brought one of sixteen of your Mickey Mouse hats, so at least you had a purpose. "What if we don't want one?" Roderich asks. "YOU VILL GET VUN!"

And with that, Roderich handed over some money.

"YOU IDIOT, NO EUROS!"

Okay, maybe not valid money, but it was money. He sighed as he plucked a five dollar bill from his wallet. As Ludwig said, everyone got a hat. You got one that was (f/c) and had _______ inscribed in rainbow yarn. Gilbert got a red one that says, 'I AM AWESOME!' on the back.

Of course. Typical Prussia.

Only Roderich, Eliza, Ludwig, Feliciano, and Romano got their names on their hats. Roderich with a purple hat, Eliza had green, Ludwig with yellow, Feli with a blue hat, and Romano with a darker blue hat. Poor Antonio had Romano pay for his hat, but without Tony knowing, Romano whispered, "I'd like this one to have 'Tomato Bastard' on it."

Surprisingly, she complied. Antonio wore the hat, skipping like a little girl, all day without realizing his nickname was scrawled onto the back. Alfred, you saw this coming, got a white hat with blue ears and scribbled in red yarn, 'Hero' could be read on the back. "We should go before we miss Mickey Mouse," you say, checking your watch.

"And we might have to run," suggested Gilbert, pointing at the school of children scurrying into Toontown. "Oh those little brats are NOT going to get our seats!" Romano growled. You looked back at them to protest, but they were right. "Race ya boys!" you called out, breaking into a sprint. You sped through the gates before they even realized what was happening.

"YOU IDIOTS, RUN!!" Alfred shouted, starting to run. "WAHHH! I can't run!" whined Feliciano. Ludwig was already up with Alfred, and God knows where _______ went. Romano groaned and glared at Feli before picking him up and hoisting him over his shoulder. "Every damn place we go, I have lug your fat ass everywhere!!" Romano ranted, sprinting.

Your sneakers skidded to a stop at the Mickey Mouse house. Glancing over your shoulder, you friends were out of sight. You were in the midst of applying a huge grin on your face before a force tackled you. You landed on the ground with an 'Oof!' and was lying down next to Alfred. You stared at each other before you bolted up and ran inside the house.

"Nice try, hero! But I have my shortcuts!" you hollered over your shoulder. Alfred cursed before getting up and following you into the house. The group followed, a little exhausted, but all of them perked up when they saw you and Alfred talking to Mickey Mouse. You were early, but luckily Mickey was there and you were the only ones in the house.

"MICKEY!" squealed Feli, who jumped into Mickey's arms. You all took a group picture with Mickey but had some trouble overall trying to get out of the house. "See ya later, dude!" Alfred called to Mickey. "You are awesome! But not as awesome as me." Gil told the mouse. "WAHHH! I don't want to gooooo! I wanna stay with Mickey Mouse." Feli whined.

You should've known this was going to happen.

You glanced at Romano before both of you lifted Feli off the ground, you grasping his legs, Romano with his arms. He was face down to the floor, so when he started to kick and flail, Romano warned, "Dammit Feli, stop wiggling or we'll drop you face first." Feli just started to sob there. Romano sighed before picking up his brother once again.

You folded open your map as you started to walk. "Hmm, hey guys! It looks like Frontierland is closer, we'll go there and loop our way around to Critter County." Following, 'yeah's and 'okay's where heard. Even an 'I am awesome!'. Feli tried to run towards you to run onto a ride once again, but you stopped him with your arms and he went rocketing back into Ludwig's arms.

"NO FELI!" you shouted over your shoulder. You got in line first, with Gilbert behind you. "Right this way, ladies and gentlemen," a park attendant said. You glanced over at Gilbert, who held up his hands in a surrender. "I'm not going to do anything, I swear." Gil said. "You better not. I think this ride is faster than the Matterhorn, and it's only the second roller coaster." you hissed.

"I don't want you dead on only the second roller coaster. Don't even think about Splash Mountain." you say, hopping into one of the cars. With a grin, Gilbert asked, "Oh why? 'Cause you liiike me?" You sort of shot him a look that could be for the same use when looking at a crushed cockroach. "I change mind, why let the ride kill you? I'll just murder you myself."

You looked back at the rest of the coaster for a glance of your friends when it started to climb up a high cave. You could see and hear the Italian brothers arguing again. "Dammit, FELI! You're going to fall off the damn ride!!" Romano. "Vee~ but it's so fun!" Feli, of course. "Shut up! Don't raise your arms like that!"

You also saw Eliza comforting Roderich, telling him everything was going to be fine. God, why did you even bring Roderich in the first place if he was just going to puke and sulk after every roller coaster? There was Ludwig, along with Tony, screaming at Tony for no apparent reason. Then, Alfred, at the very front, right in front of you and Gil, was yelling, "YES! OH YEAH! THIS IS GONNA BE SO SWEET!"

The coaster lurched at the top. Damn, you hadn't been on this ride in a long time. Your fingernails dug into the rubbery material of the restraint bar. The coaster lurched some more. Fuck, you were doomed. Then it dropped.

You just about screamed your head off.

Around the tight curves, your whole body felt like ripping apart due to the force. It was like Matterhorn multiplied by fifty. Gil and Al seemed to be having a great time while you just struggled to stay on the ride. "FELI, NO!!" Well, at least someone else was worrying. But Romano was different, as he wasn't in danger, his brother was. Like always. And like always, Feli didn't care.

"STAHP! STAHP THE RIDE!" Ludwig cried from the back. You assumed Roderich must've fainted. Oh well. His Austrian butt was in for it. When the ride stopped and the restraint bars flew forward, almost everyone climbed out instantly. "LET'S GO AGAIN!" Alfred said, pumping his fist.

"NO!!!"

You ran outside of the queue and plopped down on the nearest bench. It was magical you weren't kicked out of the park. At least five of you didn't need a bathroom break because they claimed they already went on the ride. Of course, you had several people swearing at that, so you decided to enjoy it before one of you got kicked out and all of you would have to follow.

"ADVENTURELAND!!!" cried Romano. You cocked an eyebrow. Was he serious? Actually crying out in happiness? You stood up from the bench and followed them there. You saw Alfie drinking some water and asked, "Hey! Where did you get that?" He simply smirked and said, "Secret." You rolled your eyes and snatched water bottle, drinking some of it.

"Tell the person who got you the water thanks," you say, walking to the front. "INDIANA JONES! INDIANA JONESSS!" Romano screamed, jumping like Feli. Again, was he SERIOUS?! "Okay, okay! Calm down, Roma." Antonio said. You giggled.

He still didn't know he had 'Tomato Bastard' on his hat.

"GET IN! GO GO GO!!" Romano yelled, ushering the group into the Indiana Jones ride. God, okay. He was excited. And everyone decided it was best for the group to listen to an excited Romano. Hell, he was more dangerous than a pissed Romano. You jumped in into a seat next to Antonio and Eliza.

Antonio had the side seat (which you couldn't have hated more), you were next to him, and Eliza was sitting next to you and Roderich. Roderich cursed. "A-are you sure this is s-safe, Eliza?" he stuttered. You rolled your eyes. Tony began to search the seat for some seatbelts. "I don't see any seat belts, chica." he concluded. Your eyes widened into saucers.

"WHAT?!?! NO SEATBELTS?!" you glanced over at Roderich, who was having difficulties finding a safety restraint. You wondered again why you didn't just leave him at home with the Dread Trio. "_______, there really are no seatbelts." Tony says, searching the seat.

What.

The.

Oh.

Hell.

No.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO SEATBELTS?!? THIS ISN'T A DAMN SMALL WORLD ATTRACTION!"

Suddenly, a rubber coated metal restraint popped up. It was unbelievably close, and could break a rib if you jerked forward hard enough.

"Oh. Hell. No." Roderich panted. You laughed as the ride started to move. This was going to be fun.

Only you didn't know it was landfilled with skeletons, your worst fear.

Boy, this was going to be a ride.

"I'M OUTTA HERE! LET'S GET SOME FOOD AND GO!" you shouted. You stormed off in terror once the ride stopped. You didn't even bother with the safety restraint. Despite how close it was to your body, your merely slide under it and hopped over the jeep door restraint on the side. "Whoa, _______, calm down." Alfred said.

You wished you could just sink your teeth into his flesh right there.

"CALM DOWN?!?! YOU THINK I CAN CALM DOWN?! WHAT CAN MAKE ME HAPPY IS SOME FOOD, MASTER PUDGE!" you holler at him, poking him in the stomach. "Come on, let's get some barbecue." Eliza says, pulling you to the Bengal Barbecue. Before she tugged you off, you looked over your shoulder and flipped Alfred the bird and stuck your tongue at him.

The barbecue did actually cheer you up. It's deliciousness was amazing. Everyone tried a skewer. When lunch was done, Alfie clapped his hands together and said, "Well, with lunch covered, let's get to New Orleans Square." You glared at him but kept walking. You saw the line for Pirates of the Caribbean and was astonished.

There was barely any line at all!

Which was funny, because it was such a popular ride. "Well what are you waiting for?! GO!" Roderich says. He's probably just happy to find a slow ride that wasn't Small World. You held him back. "It's not worth it. When we get back, there's going to be a huge line at Splash Mountain. Ludwig already got fastpasses for Splash Mountain and we have to be there in five minutes." you say.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

WHAT?!

"Five minutes?" Alfred said, looking at his watch. "Run," you say before sprinting. "Bet I can beat you this time!" Alfie says. You scoff and dodge a stroller. "Not a chance, hero!" You took a left, the complete opposite direction of the ride. "Where are you going?" he yells. You didn't respond. He smirked. Now he was definitely going to beat you.

He saw the ride. "YES! I'M GOING TO WIIIN!" he yelled. "Not any chance!" you yelled, already holding your fastpass in front of the fastpass gate. His grin turned upside down. "What?!" he yelled. You just plainly smiled at him. "WHAT?!" he said again in total disbelief. "What can I tell ya Al, I've got my secret passage ways..." you say with a dead on imitation of Russia's dark face.

Gilbert clapped Alfred's shoulder. "Dude, don't even try it. I've been through zhis." he says. "Well, come on zhen!" Ludwig says. "Fastpasses, hello?" Eliza said, waving her pass in Alfred's face.

You wanted to get there first to get on the first log. You hopped into the back of the log. Feliciano sat right in front of you. So there was you, Feli, Romano, Gilbert, and Tony. "Ooh, mein freunde, you're going to get soaked in zhe front." Gilbert kesese'd at Tony. Tony maniacally grinned. "I WANT to get soaked." he said in an evil tone. You raised an eyebrow. Ooookay.

Feli asked Romano, "Is this a scary ride, fratello?" Romano scowled at his stupidity. "Of course it's damn scary! You're going to drop ten fucking feet you fool!" he yelled. Feli just looked terrified. "W-what?!" Feli asked.

The log started to move. It went through a little cave where it had dancing animals. Like Small World. "It's not so bad," Feli says happily. Romano raised an eyebrow. "Is this a joke?" he asked. "This cannot be Splash Mountain." Tony says. "Just wait!" you holler, exhausted of their bickering.

Suddenly, the animals didn't look so.... cheery anymore. The aura turned purple. "Oh shit." Romano cursed. You started to climb up a hill with occasional bumps and splashes. Tony was a little wet in the front, but not completely soaked. You reached the top. The ride stopped.

"AGHH! WHERE ARE THE SEATBELTS?!" Feli cried. The log dropped. You screamed and held on the rails on the side of the log. Poor Feli clung to the outside of the log. Romano had clumps of Gilbert's hair in his hand and Gil screamed in pain. Tony fist pumped. And the best thing was a flash captured it all.

Tony prepared for the mini tsunami that was about to come right at him. He held out his arms as if her were expecting a hug. The log crashed onto the bottom.

Only Tony wasn't wet. He wasn't even soaked. The water had hit the front, sending it to the back in a wave motion. Gil was not wet. Roma was not wet. Hell, Feli was only wet because he peed his pants a little. The water hit.

It hit you.

It was like dumping more than five gallons of water, KERPLUNK!, right on your head. You were wet literally EVERYWHERE. I won't go into details. "What? I'm dry!" Tony exclaimed. "All of us never really got wet!" Feli cheered. "Except for me, you bastards!" you yelled. They turned back to look at you, soaked to the bone.

They immediately started to laugh. "Don't make me pull any curls," you said dangerously. "I already pulled yours, Romano." They still didn't shut up. As soon as you got back in front of the big drop, you immediately yanked Romano's curl. You yanked it HARD. "CHIGI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Romano said. Wow. That was the loudest you ever heard him scream.

Antonio 'ooh'ed. "Tsk, tsk, tsk." he says as Romano runs away from you. "You shouldn't have done zhat." Gil said with a smirk. "Why? I only pulled a curl." you shrugged. They just looked at you funny.

"WOO! EXHILIRATING!" Alfred said. He was as soaked as you. "Did you go in the front, _______?" he asked. With a scowl, you said "No, I sat in the damn back." He laughed. When Romano calmed down, Alfred wanted to announce something.

"So, it's been fun." he says.

"NOW WHO'S READY FOR CALIFORNIA ADVENTURE PARK?!?"

......

Fuck.